TRANSCRIPT:

You’re listening to The Parents of Hardworking Teens Podcast, episode 112 - What to do when a plan doesn’t go to plan, and why it can be good to decide this way. Stick with me! 
Hey VIP’s! How are you?I hope you’re super well and your teen’s week is going brilliantly so far. 
And if it ISN’T going brilliantly for them, then this episode is for you :)
Because we’re going to get into the fact that - shocking truth - things don’t always go to plan.
And I’m a real planner, so this is a topic that is very close to my heart.
I do believe that the more carefully you plan, then the more likely things are to work out. 
BUT, I also know that sometimes the universe did not get the memo about the plan.
And just because you planned it or even simply thought things would work out a certain way, things come up, situations or priorities change and life just gets in the way.

And I’m going to use the example of my 10 Week Grade Transformation Program to base this discussion on, because Gemma and I - Gemma is our English Focus Coach, AND also our Success Manager with Rock Solid Study - we actively follow up with 10 WGT students who haven’t quite - or in a couple of cases - let’s be honest, haven’t at all - stayed on track with progressing through the modules.
Now, I will say, Gemma is usually the one actioning a lot of this as Success Manager, but we’ve worked together on how best to do this, and I’ve particularly been interested in helping these students get back on track and supporting them to do so but ALSO having them make a plan for when things might go off track again, pre-emptively predicting what might come up and scupper any plan they make and what to do when that happens.
Because we all know that things come up, or we get sick, or - for me - a house that you want suddenly goes up for sale and before you know it, you’re moving house!
Now, we give 12 weeks access to the 10 week program, so that there is some extra time and a bit of a buffer, to catch up if needed or to give time to recap anything students want to at the end.

And NOT having unlimited specified time is very much on purpose. It’s there to provide structure and momentum, because if there’s no deadline, then the chances of whatever the thing is getting done drop dramatically. We think that having MORE time means it’s more likely to get done, but it’s the opposite. Having finite time creates urgency and a deadline, and therefore momentum and motivation.
Plus, I want students to have this training, have these skills and strategies in their toolkit as soon as possible, so they can start using them and benefitting from them asap.To have everything within one full term.

And so, behind the scenes, we have a two week check in near the start, an 11 week check in towards the end, and a more official, half way check in where the parent and student answer a couple of quick questions.
And we jump in and offer help and support if things don’t look like they’re on track, and help them set up a do-able action plan.

But, of course, if everything was as simple as just setting up an action plan and then it all just happens, then they wouldn’t have been off track in the first place.
So, here’s what I’ve taken to doing when I work with students personally and in more detail, on consults, on review calls or in Next Level coaching.

Yes, we put a plan together for whatever it is that they want or need to do or make happen.
And then instead of saying - okay, now go off and do it. I THEN ask:

- “And what do you think might stop this from happening?”
Or
- “What might mess up this plan?”
Or
- “Are there any things that might stop this plan going to plan?”

And I really like doing this for two reasons.

Number one - it reminds them that the making of the plan isn’t enough. We actually have to follow the plan. And that might not always be easy.Just like, just enrolling your teen into the 10 week program isn’t going to magically mean they get all the skills and techniques. They actually have to actively complete and fully engage with the program in order for any of that to happen.

And number two, it reminds us all that we’re all human. Things come up. Other stuff gets in the way. AND that if we plan for THAT happening, which is, when you think about it, possibly more likely than not, then we actually have a little more control over the outcome or progress that we want and control over our expectations and emotions.
The unexpected becomes a tiny bit more expected. And therefore we don’t just say - oh well, this happened which was out of my control, and therefore my plan went off track or even - completely out the window.

We tend to do this for big things in life.

Insurance is literally this.
I don’t PLAN for my house to catch on fire, but I have buildings and contents insurance in case it does.
I don’t PLAN to crash the car, but I have car insurance in case I do.

My husband does this massively for anytime we go to an airport.
He will always add on at least an extra hour in case there are any traffic jams or other unforeseen hold ups.
Which can sometimes mean getting there before the check in desk is even open, but I will say, touch wood - we’ve never missed a flight. I know that is totally jinxing things now.  But I know I would probably leave things a bit more down to the wire, if it were just me. I’m definitely a planner, but I’m also always trying to be super-efficient with my time for everything on any day. To the extent that I almost always plan in or think I can get more done than I actually can.
So I’m always loathe to give something more time than it actually needs. But I am grateful that I have a partner who helps balance this out for me a bit.


Teachers are literally trained for this.
It’s called classroom management.
You would never go into a class and expect every minute of the lesson to go completely according to your lesson plan. Where no-one gets stuck, no-one disrupts anything, no-one’s forgotten their book or pen or was away last lesson so is behind, the projector and tech works perfectly.
We have contingencies and behaviour management strategies - and yes, spare paper and pens or these days device chargers for all of this and more. We use seating plans to minimise potential issues. We differentiate tasks to account for different students’ abilities and learning styles. That’s just part of teaching and lesson planning. You plan FOR those things. Not even just in case, you literally know these things will happen.
And I’ve even actioned this strategy for us as a team within Rock Solid Study. When we have an event or something new that we’re launching or running, we actually have a page now as part of the planning document where we brainstorm all the issues that might crop up. And we pre-plan what we’ll do to either minimise them happening, or plan what we’ll do in response so we already know what we’ll do if or when they do.

So, back to the student’s plan. Once the student has come up with a few ways that the plan we’ve might go off track, we then set up almost a separate Plan B.
Like, okay, what if you get sick? And you can’t complete the module that week? What will you do?
What if your team ends up making the finals and you have extra training and matches at the weekends of evenings and have less time?
What if… whatever it is.
What will you do in response, or what will you do in advance to minimise that creating an issue for you?
And interestingly, no student has ever said to me “Oh, well I’d just give up and wouldn’t do it.”
They’ve always come up with a Plan B.
And it hasn’t even felt like a particularly big deal to figure it out. It’s usually not a big struggle to come up with an alternative, or way to make up the time, or a way to re-prioritise.

And I mention priorities because I do think that intentionally considering what is truly a priority is important. Sometimes we just default to the things that are routine, or habit, or just that we’d rather do in the moment, rather than truly considering what is most important or will bring the greatest positives long term.
Sometimes a student will say - well, I can’t do it then because I have a work shift, or I have whatever another commitment on at that time.
And I invite them to consider whether they might swap or skip that thing that week.
Not because study and grades is more important than everything else, but perhaps the outcome and benefits might actually be more worth prioritising, just for one week.
Because once you have it - the skill, the insight, the concept or strategy, you have it. It’s like you can’t unsee it. You don’t forget how to ride a bike.
And I know I’m biased, but the amount of stress and disappointment and chinks in their confidence that I see when students don’t have these skills and concepts and insights, and I know that this one module can fix it, or make every essay from now on take half the time, or make the revision for every exam from now on way more effective, then yes, I’m going to advocate for it.


And you can make changes without leaving anyone in the lurch when you’ve foreseen some of these possible issues or problems. So, I’m not saying don’t honour commitments. This is the point of planning ahead for these things.  So that then you don’t then leave yourSELF in the lurch of going even longer without these skills. You honour your commitment to yourSELF by getting the training that will make your study smoother, faster, more confidence and success filled.

So, whenever there is a plan being made, consider also planning for the ways that it might not go to plan. So that when it doesn’t (and when you think about it, there’s actually a good chance that SOMETHING will come up), then A) it’s not a bombshell and doesn’t come as a total surprise and doesn’t create a ton of stress or drama. And B) you know exactly what to do to stay on track. And hey, if nothing comes up, then that’s a very happy bonus. Maybe that should actually be the surprise. Like ‘Wow - I thought that this, this or this, would crop up along the way and cause me some issues or cause me to have to change tack, but hey, it didn’t. That's cool’.

Give this a go with your teen. Like I said, I’m using it more and more in the business, we’re all using it when we insure things that are expensive or important to us. I’d love to hear any of your teen’s Plan B or backup plan examples and also hope that actually, they don’t even have to use it.